A little more love.

I’m not ashamed to say yesterday I totally sucked as a mother, like really sucked. I lost my temper multiple times and went to bed feeling like I had failed my daughter deeply. This move while it’s the right thing for our family has been much more stressful then any of us anticipated. While Mark has been amazing trying to get mine and G’s spirits up us girls have been in “moods”.

Last night G screamed for about 5 hours straight, it was hell. I know she’s confused and just doesn’t know how to handle all this change but that didn’t really sink in till I thought of it this morning. She’s confused and needs me there, period. So this afternoon I made it my mission to be more compassionate towards my daughter to understand while yes this maybe the best move for our family she may not be able to understand that. What we can project as future comfort is current chaos for her. I started her bedtime ritual a couple hours early tonight, fed her her favorite foods for dinner, made the tub extra deep, let her have a baba of formula rather then the milk, and most importantly so much cuddles it bordered smothering. She still fussed which is OK, she’s expressing her confusion which she needs to let out but, by 7:30 this little love was off to sleep giving me a little down time to catch up here and decompress before Mark rolls in with the last load being moved in to our new space. While I have a lot to still learn to be the mom I want to be I have to say I’m on my way one mess up and then correction at a time.