A Story + Trip Photos
Have you ever had the profound feeling a large chapter of your life is closing and a new exciting and fresh one is begining? Well that’s where I am, that’s where we are as a mother and daughter, her and I. As parents every decision, mood, lifestyle change has a profound affect on our children. That weighs sometimes dragging on my worry and heart but, not now. The shear size of two years is warming my heart currently. In five days G will be a full two years old and I have to say I’m so proud of how far we’ve come, how far I’ve come. I took a walk with her today to celebrate this. We went back to the street she was born, we searched for spring flowers something we’ve done every spring together since her birth. Except this year there’s a new and welcomed calm, like we’ve finally settled in.
It’s amazing how life works out. When I set out on the journey of becoming a mother I was prepared for that those challenges, those lessons and experiences. What I wasn’t prepared for was the complete curve ball life would throw my way that had nothing to do with parenting but to do with everything else, a person I trusted crossing me, my business almost going under, my marriage crumbling, financial trouble like I had never ever thought I would overcome. I’m not going to be shy in telling the story that last March I checked myself in the hospital because it was just too much. Again, not the parenting, I got that but, last March the rest of my world fell apart.
After a year, a small small amount of time I’m shocked to sit here not able to shake the vision that keeps popping into my head of a book closing and that chapter not only ending but almost sweetly being recognized. Don’t get me wrong I’ve worked hard this past year, self reflection, therapy, even a jump into medication for a short bit there. I’ve worked hard and am finally proud to say, I’m happy, finally.
Last March Austin nearly killed me professionally and emotionally. To the point where the thought of even entering the city again gave me a shiver. So before this year’s SXSW I prepared. I prepared professionally, physically, emotionally. Rather than hiding I headed face first just 12 months later into my fears and you know what, I overcame it and I now feel SO much stronger.
I still have a ton to work on with myself that will help me personally and professionally yet I’m SO proud of myself today, so proud of the person I’ve become through my struggles, the person I will become as I open myself up to learning more and truly learning to love.
While yes I am a mother (a good one at that), I am also a fighter and a lover (needing love in return), a person who encompasses all the capabilities to teach this beautiful little person as I myself grow to be everything I’ve always wanted to be and more.
Sometimes I think we as parents focus so much on attaining perfection as parents we forget to share the journey with our children, at the end of the day what’s more valuable than just that? Nothing because it’s within the journey those brief and beautiful moments of perfection and truth exist.