Baby Blogs Disclaimer
I’ve been thinking of this topic a lot lately and was only recently motivated to sit down and write out my thoughts. I’m always interested in our readership here on our blog. I try my hardest to check out everyone who follows us when I can and frequently check our google analytics reports. One trend I see in readership from both mine and other parenting blogs up on tumblr is the community of teen and young woman who follow these blogs. It’s great, it’s a wonderfully positive group of bloggers to read but, still, I would like to place a disclaimer on here because it does make me think a bit about the wonderful world we are presenting to you all. I’m not “worried” about our readers more so our readers misunderstanding a bit about our life in particular and maybe making decisions when it comes to when to start their families. Now, I know ya’ all aren’t reading our blog and going to make babies right away I’m not that vain to think anything like that but I can also see how young I am presenting a different life then people are use to reading about.
I had baby G when I was 24 (pregnant at 23), I am proud to say I am a young mother. Yet, the point of this post I’m trying to make is just because I was a young mother doesn’t mean it is OK or right for every young woman to get herself in that situation. And I’m not saying that because of the stereotypical reasons but for one single reason, it’s rare to be ready, to be a complete person you need to be at such a young age emotionally. I know you can have a baby before you’re finically stable (hell some days I doubt we’re even financially stable enough) and I know very young parents can (and DO ) raise babies well I’m not putting that down at all (power to ya). What I’m trying to say is how can you teach another human to become the best person they can be if you yourself have not been through the ups and downs living life has to offer first?
This is where I’m a slightly different human then most. I had a rough childhood (as I’ve posted in the past) it forced me to grow up way too quick. I got myself into college (while I didn’t finish because I took up a business) I went to school and I DID live that life for a small time. Then the thing that I feel has helped me grow and learn the most, I have run two businesses, as in starting them from the ground up BY MYSELF. I have survived on my own and had apartments on my own in one of the hardest and most exspensive cities in the US. Along this path I have had various kinds of relationships and friendships that have shaped the person I currently am. I got out in the world and made something of myself before I even thought of the word baby. Most importantly I became a person who could support and emotionally survive with me, myself, and I. This is the point of this post. Learn how to care for yourself before you bring someone dependent on you into this world it’s for the better all around and will make the situation so much richer.
Georgiah was planned and I wouldn’t change anything about it. But, I can see now how if I had her earlier I may have regretted my timing. Honestly if I thought my business would ever become less demanding I would have waited till then to have her but I know the music industry is a forever evolving place that will never “calm down”. Mark and I were married for three years before we had G and I appreciate that time we had together with the two of us. We also lived together for three years with two dogs that if you are an old time reader you know they taught us patience through caring for them. Also living in NYC teaches you as a couple how to survive together and be tolerant on many levels of many things. All this “practice’ has developed into our parenting. Even if Mark and I have had issues we have always agreed no matter what we love the family unit we have created and no relationship status can ever change that. We can make and handle this decision because we have lived full lives for the short amount of time we have been on this planet. Experience is the most important part of growth and if you’re not growing you’re dying.
And finally yes, being a mother young is a wonderful, emotionally fulfilling (especially for someone like me without a family of my own growing up) , and amazing thing but, it’s also life altering. So, I would like to put a bit of advice out there to all you “youngings”, live a magical life, become self sustaining for at least a sliver of it, fulfill yourself with rich experiences and the life you dream of for yourself because your baby will only benefit from it, consider it “pre-parenting”. Because of how we have lived out our lives before we had G her everyday is enriched and balanced through us and we wouldn’t have it any other way.