It has been sometime since I have written to you. I’ve been plagued by the ever growing list on a yellow post it on my computer desk top filling with more and more topics I want to just tell you about, even though you won’t see this blog till you’re 18.
Your dad and I have been busy with work mostly. Particularly myself being my company is suddenly and gratefully starting to get busy enough I can call it a “job” now. Then in our down time getting the house more and more set up for you, planning the event of your bby shower which has people you will eventually meet flying in from ALL over the country/world, and trying to spend time with one another enjoying our last few months being a family of two. No matter how set you feel in being ready to have a child there’s so many emotions to work through as a couple, individual, and family. There’s always a fear of the unknown a fear of change, I think it’s human and your Dad and I have been facing these head on and being more open and bringing our relationship to levels it has not been yet. It is truly beautiful and I have to admit it take my emotional mind a little while to catch up with the intellectual changes occurring in our everyday lives…you have brought so many amazing changes to this family even before your first breath of air!
Your father have been going through this all on our own mostly but last week decided to start going to couples therapy a couple times a month. No we’re not having issues and bringing you into some odd emotional situation but rather we are so happy with how our relationship is going we want to try and keep it that way and continue on the right path, even when the stresses of having our first small child and figuring everything out together without much help from our families. I think it’s an important thing for you to know for your life that it’s OK to ask for help even if it’s to prepare for situations and that your parents aren’t perfect and don’t always do everything right but always try and have the best intentions and learn form their mistakes in life and their relationships.
One thing I’ve learned over the past three years of being married to your dad is marriage is not made to be perfect from moment one. Don’t believe those movie moments, the fire works and gasps of finding your true love within 30 seconds of meeting the person, that is not true love that is lust. Marriage is meant to make you grow challenge your ideals and help you become a better and stronger person, and any kind of growth is not always easy. Your Dad said it best the other night: “If you break up with me four times in a year the next year my goal won’t be to not have you break up with me ever again but to break up with me three times then the next two times, till eventually I figure this all out.” While writing that out here it didn’t sound as romantic now, but really it was one of the most romantic thing I think I’ve ever heard and it melted me. I hope you too can one day find a love in your life who infuriates you just as much as they intoxicate you with their existence. Someone who supports you for being you while helping you grow into someone you never knew you were. Someone who will always be there when you really need them and will appreciate all the little things who make you who you are. I hope you find true love.