Let's talk about Health...
This photo pretty much sums up the current feelings around these parts. I’ve always been open with this blog when things get hard, rocky, and tough. I’m not going to stop that now. To put it simple, this new life, this move is getting a little harder for us all as each day passes.
Sure there’s the good old home sickness that can weigh on ones soul us for BK and for London with W but also being on the opposite end of the country from a beloved pet is making us feel kinda crummy. We couldn’t bring our dog over on the flight as he’s too old and it’s hurting us all each passing day to be so far from him.
Jobs and new work projects have not been readily knocking on the door since we arrived driving the working man and woman inside of W and I a little nuts, while slowly draining our bank accounts.
Plus the kicker of why we’re really here, my failing health. While I’ve mostly been hush hush about this since we didn’t know what’s going on. I feel it’s time to chat about Autoimmune Diseases and how much they blow.
I’ve been sick for sometime. My humble (and cheap) small town NY Doctor put me through the ringer of diagnoses, both mono and lyme being two of the things I was treated for but neither treatments cured this icky, run down, “not at 100%” feeling I’ve been having for ages. Not to mention over half my hair has fallen out over the past year *tear*.
Feeling so poorly has had a great affect on my work, I was getting sick often. It seemed like a cycle; I would have a good day, feel good, get back to my yoga or running, have a few good days exercising and getting a ton done at work, then BAM sick in bed for a week. Over and over.
I considered maybe it was my life style? Maybe all the traveling and late nights were hurting me? So I changed my lifestyle but even after that nothing seemed to work. I was about at my wits end when word came from my biological family that I needed to get checked out for an Autoimmune Disease since they were starting to pop up in my family history.
After a bit of research I knew this was not something to be taken lightly and with my very limited and expensive health care options in NYC it was time to move to a place with better care. Hence here we are in Cali. I’ve seen three different and awesome quality doctors since moving west and while I still don’t have a name for whats causing me so much pain we are getting closer to an answer with each visit it seems.
Honestly the hardest part of the move has been remembering why we’re truly here. And the loss of my identity as I knew it. I’m no longer a NY’er, I no longer manage bands, my current state of health limits me in so many ways making me a different person completely. I feel like I don’t really know who I am right now besides a wonderful mom to my daughter and a partner to my love. Like I’ve stopped all progress on myself as a person.
Feeling held up on making general progress in life really stinks. But I have to remind myself we’re not here for me to make career progress or to settle down, we’re here to get me tip top healthy so where ever we land in this world it will be done properly as a healthy woman, mom, and partner at her best.
So onward and upward. Physically everyday is a challenge but I will come out on the other end of this a better person. I will come out a shining healthier person, truly stronger for my investment in my health right now. One day at a time. One step at a time. Autoimmune Disease whatever kind it ends up being, can suck it.