My First Day as a "Stay at Home" Mom
Today was a day of firsts. We let our nanny go this week. It was mostly a financial decision but I’ve also been wanting to spend more time with G then I have been (the first year of her life) so we as a family took the jump. It was so hard to let our nanny go, we love her so dearly. I actually had to have Mark make the call because I wouldn’t have been able to do it without breaking down into sobs, seriously that girl has become part of our family and the thought that she has to go through the task of finding a new job just kills me.
But, life will go on and we all will figure out how to make this new situation work. I’m still working at the record label but shifting my hours to the early afternoon and evening when Mark can take G. How is this possible you say to run a company AND only work part time? Well, today I also gave away half of my company to my assistant, who is now my “business partner”. Half the income yes, but half the responsibility and most importantly half the stress. SO MANY CHANGES!
I’m excited to be able to have well, time. Time to spend with my daughter, time to spend on our home, time to prepare real meals, just time to live well (like I didn’t have before). When you work for yourself you can get sucked in easily and I’m just seeing how deeply I was pulled in over the past year. Even though it’s the first day of this new situation I can already feel stress dripping away slowly, I’m sure I’m adding years to my life in this single decision.
While I do feel good about the changes a part me me is still a little uneasy, I’ve never been a full-time mom after all! I know it’s ridiculous but I’m actually scared I’m going to “mess up” somehow. The nanny was a hired professional, I’m a pro at the music industry, not children (yet) even if I am a mom. I actually had a couple panic attacks at the story time I took G to today, panic attacks over a room full of babies….yeah I got some work to do to get feeling confident in this new role.
Over all I feel like I’m doing the right thing, G yelled out for “mama” when she woke up earlier, a first!. So here I am, a stay at home mom in all her new glory………. man wish me luck!