The Elusive Daddy Post
So as I’m sure by now (seeing as this is to be gifted to you when you start your own little family) that you are paying so much more attention to everything baby related, (like your mother and an I did, one of us (not me) a little obsessive in a good way) and it has taken over a significant percentage or brainpower and redirected it into learning and retaining the good the bad and the indifferent on things such as baby products, birthing stories, parenting manners and probably turned you into like I have become, a left-handed upside down and backwards diaper changing champion! It is almost like a switch was flipped and now the one thing that was once the most distant, un-imaginable and surreal stages of life has become a reality and you are going to become a parent. Crazy shit hunh!
One thing you will notice being a parent (or parent to be) that in the midst of gabbing about the Montessori method, eyeballing baby merch, watching birth stories on YouTube (or whatever you crazy kids call it these days) or simply trying to catch up on sleep is that someone always comments on your baby.
For the most part compliments and acknowledgments of particulars are the body of the message and they honestly range from A to Z.
Prior to this big ass explanatory build up I thought it would be nice to let you know what people are saying about you, however without the buildup it wouldn’t exactly be an interesting post and you would think your dad is even lamer than you thought„, soooo here„
10-) That you are Tiny„ you are.
9-) That you look just like me!
8-) 3 and half hour labor? Followed by an inconspicuous up and down of your Mom then a look of either confusion or “ that’s nice.. bitch”
7-) Your ears are tiny, like mine!
6-) Your Mom looks fantastic
5-) Most ladies make the “ awwww “ face and then comment to themselves
4-) You Melt people when you smile, period.
3-) You are so calm and collected and sweet
2-) A lot of People notice how long your Eyelashes are, Your eyelashes are quite long however it kinda creeps me out that so many people make this exact observation.
1-) Everyone thinks you are the most gorgeous baby in the world, and they are right, “ that kid should be a baby model” & “ Bro, that’s the cutest fucking baby I’ve ever seen” said by 2 complete strangers
I want to thank you way in advance because I will never ever forget this awesome exact moment in my life, the era of first time parenthood, and kiddo/monkey/monster/sweet heart (what I call you now), it is the best thing I have ever done with my life and I would never change a thing about it.