The Next Big Journey
A bit back about two years now I wrote a post “Three Become Two”. And today I’m about to work it in a different direction “Two Become Three”. It’s an important day in our lives today, G you’re meeting the man face to face for the first time who will become your Step Father (even though I hate that term!) and it’s beautiful. For sometime now, I have no longer been a single mom, been taking my time to let the digital know and enjoying this new version of the world. Because really the world changes when you fall in love and have someone fall in love with you. It’s the most amazing feeling and am thankful every day to have met this man.
It’s been an interesting path, divorce, dating, figuring out who I am again (possibly really for the first time). It’s been an adventure one that was less than easy at times but an adventure non the less. Along the way I learned a few things about love (not saying I’m any sort of pro here just a few things I’ve learned) I would like to share with my future grown daughter before this evening when we turn the page and start a whole new chapter in our lives again of a family of three.
Follow your heart and it will lead you to true love. Seriously this seems all sappy hippy talk but a little piece of my story; my heart has always been pulling me to Paris and I’ve tried to go many times before and it never worked out. Within a hour of my arrival within the city of love this past year I met my match and haven’t looked back. I believe in the power of the universe and that passions and pulls are part of a larger plan. Follow it, give in, take risks.
If you’re lucky you’ll end up with the nice guy (or gal). Boy have I been through the list of the “bad guys” “unavailable people” “older men”…….musician after musician after musician. When I came to realize the person I’ve always wanted (just didn’t give them time of day) was the nice guy. Stability and trust are underrated in our culture for drama and “tests of true love” via conflict. Don’t give into the bullshit the poor US culture feeds you. It should be simple, they should be nice to you, themselves, and the world around them. I’m finding the person it feels best to be with “loves the best version out of me”. Doesn’t fight out the worst. Which leads me to……
Don’t except less than real respect and romance. There’s a large cultural difference I’ve learned between EU and the US. In the EU when you except a date with someone it’s unsaid you see just THAT person till you decide if they aren’t right for you in which you move on. The uncommitted forms of dating in the US I feel put way too much energy and attention on the “talk” that it ruins not only the respect you could have for each other not dating other people in the start of your relationship but also the opportunity for romance to grow. Whether you’re dating here or there demand the respect that will (if it’s the right person) grow into romance. If the person is not cool with it than they aren’t right.
"To be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved." -George MacDonald
Don’t rush or ruin. I feel with true confidence if I would have waited a bit before jumping into marriage the first time (always knew it wasn’t right) I would have found my way into my current relationship with a little less baggage. Yes, one can argue I wouldn’t be the person I am today but there’s also something to be said about taking the time to find yourself and truly positively love yourself before committing to a relationship. I didn’t know who I was or what I really wanted in my first relationship in turn it caused me and the people around me pain. I could have been more patient and gentle with myself and had a far easier path.
All that being said it’s been you and me kid for almost 4 years now. I’ve fought for us, for our survival. I didn’t let the bar be set low I refused to except any thing less than awesome for us. I’ll always cherish the time it was just us, just you and me against the world. Being a single parent is not for the light hearted and I’m proud to say I did it, we did it. The most important thing though outside of the obvious struggles of keeping a household and time management, my goal was to make sure you felt loved and supported which I believe you have felt.
So now hand and hand babe when we drive to that airport tonight to pick up the man that will bring even more love into our daily lives I’m going to say, thank you. Thank you for being my magic little girl and loving me unconditionally as I worked our lives out. And thank you for starting this new journey with me, having an open heart to welcome a wonderful person into our family. We’re off on our next adventure baby and my heart is overflowing with love and light as we head out on this journey.