Oh my little bear cub.
3 years ago mama bear went into the forest of her mind and an imposter returned home to you.
In your mama's fur but far from her as she can possibly be.
That imposter is gone little cub, mama is in the kitchen cooking up some good lovin, and soul changing brews, now, though the journey back was difficult, we got here together.
My blood flows like a river through those veins of yours, I feel it pumping when I softly grace my lips across the back of your sleeping shoulders like I use to do when you were a baby, like I tried to do when I was sick but couldn't feel it.
My body and mind had detached.
How I wanted to feel it again!
This mama of your has been to battle with the worst types of demons, ones of her bodies own making and you have stood by strongly, never wavering in your hope.
Somedays I wonder which of us is actually the cub.
I can again see the world in your eyes my little bear and they have taught me, it all starts with you - loving you was what I was put here to do.
And you teach me slowly within your grace and compassion - as I learn to love again (or maybe for the first time)
My world rests on your shoulders my little bear, my stars in your eyes and my pulse in your chest.
Okay, healing friends, a lot of you have messaged me in Instagram asking what my healing protocol is for healing my copper toxicity. Firstly I want to tell you something I’ve discovered along this path. Copper toxicity just as any illness I think really is more than just a physical imbalance. Dr. L Wilson (one of if not the most educated Dr in copper toxicity) in his studies and practices teaches a lot about this from a much more conservative Christian perspective which I don’t think is wrong I agree this illness has an effect on the whole being, your cells, body, mind, spirit, energy pathways, soul, and heart. Each of our spiritual paths are different so while I don’t agree with everything Dr. L Wilson teaches because well, I’m not conservative, I do agree with him that the whole being needs to be addressed in order to fully heal and that’s an individual path for us all.
There’s a blessing to be found in copper toxicity however horrible going through it is. This illness gives an opportunity to truly heal, on a cellular and soul level. I know personally without this illness I would never have come to that point on my own, I was too easily wrapped up with the outward world before my awakening copper toxicity led me to. So knowing that, here’s my protocol so far (and some TMI stuff too FYI!) I want to say just because this all has been working for me, everyone's bodies and paths are their own. If you think you’re struggling with copper toxicity I would recommend getting a hair analysis done and guidance from a proper healthcare practitioner to help you. It’s not a quick fix healing from copper toxicity and we need all the support we can get!
Daily Practices // These are the things I attempt to get done every single day, though most days one or two don’t happen. I’m learning to be more intuitive and listen to my body. Some days it needs more rest, other days it needs to move more. Healing is a day to day lesson on looking within and listening.
Diet (Fast Oxidation)
This is by far the most important piece of my healing along with the supplements. I thought the copper was to blame for how I was feeling and acting all the time. Ends up yes, the copper caused the problems but it was actually my overactive thyroid and adrenal glands creating all my symptoms. Since I’ve started eating the correct way for my body and actively working on my adrenals all my symptoms are fading. I even have some days now with no anxiety for the first time in years! Goes to show, we really are what we eat.
Minerals & supplements 3X a day
Magnesium (three different forms)
Every morning I start with a big glass of lemon water, relax tea, and juice fresh squeezed from an orange with 1/4 teaspoon cream of tartar mixed in. I’ve started calling them the three sisters. It starts my day alkaline, hydrated, and focused on healing.
I have 2.5 teaspoons of anti-inflammatory turmeric per day. If I can’t cook with it, I often end up just dumping some in tea or water and chugging. One thing about this diet/lifestyle not everything tastes good so you learn to suck it up and just do it.
I was advised to have two cups of green tea every day but then I realized even that little bit go caffeine was affecting my adrenals so instead fresh Rosemary is tucked into any teas through the day. The antioxidants are just as good as green tea and pass the brain barrier to help heal my mind.
Oh music, how I missed thee! And yes I consider this part of my healing process. Since I’ve been able to reconnect with my inner self and stop my racing thoughts I’ve been able to reconnect with my passion and love for all things music. This song has been on replay for about two weeks now. I find myself drawn to music and lyrics about creation, soul work, and larger purposes in life.
Now that my adrenals are down I have been able to go so much more deep into my yoga practice. I feel it. I’m getting stronger. Since I’ve lost 40LBS I’m able to do inversions now and my arms are getting so so so strong (push up contest anyone!?). I can do so many positions and flows that I never could before. And you can see how strong I'm getting my body with my muscles in my tummy and arms becoming so defined. I have always wanted to ease into yoga like I am now. I’ve always dreamed of being able to hit the mat and kill the anxiety I’ve become so accustomed to in my chest, and I’m finally there, I’m so thankful to have my personal practice and everything it’s done for my body and mind already though this is just the start.
Earlier today I attended a moving meditation class, it was so fun with singing, yoga, movement and really just acting silly. It's these sorts of sessions that are helping me start to see what my life ahead will be like, helping me regain my strength as a solo person to create the life I dream of. So many things have been realized on the mat this month past.
I could NEVER have meditated before with my running mind. Now, though my adrenals are down and my thyroid is balanced I’m able to slow my mind and fall into meditation. This has by far been my best practice to healing my broken heart and mind. I meditate twice a day for at least an hour. I'm hoping when I get back to the UK to join a meditation center and take this practice deeper with the help of others.
I love these ones: https://www.youtube.com/user/TheHartSpace/videos
Every morning I wake early and head into the inferred sauna. I love this, it was the single thing that brought my adrenals down when they were on super speed before the supplements fully kicked in. I just learned how to build my own mini one which I plan to do for the boat when I get home.
Yes, you read that right - orgasms, one or two a day in fact. The IUD stole my sexuality from me. It numbed me from the waist down and stole my sex life in the process. It was awful because the changes were so gradual I thought it was in my head or was a problem with my relationship when in fact my nerves were completely numbed and I had no idea. Once the IUD came out all sensation started to come back and like most of this illness, I realized how F'd up I actually was. For a bit, I was overly sensitive as my body readjusted.
The interesting thing about this process has been my nerves reconnecting or (turning back on I guess?) when I first start on this part of my healing I would get shooting pains along the nerve paths everytime the "big event" has happened. After a few weeks this has subsided and just good and super intense pleasure feelings are left.
The thing about this I'm most amazed by is the feeling afterward. After, I'm just calm and relaxed and have this radiating good feeling from my womb area. I know now why people love to orgasm so much, it feels great when it happens and just relaxes you the heck out. I wish I had discovered this years before. I mean it felt good to me in the past but not like this after, I think before it was actually increasing my the stress hormones in my body because I never had the relaxed feelings after like I have now. Being able to fully feel and connect now it's a whole different experience.
We are water I drink at least 2L every single day of bottled "safe" copper-free water plus all the tea and health drinks on top of it (always from the bottled water)
The type of detox tea I have is able to pass through the brain barrier which is so important when you have copper lodged in your brain. I have one or two cups a day.
Rest & Relaxing
This was super hard in the beginning and one of the reasons I came to the country. With my hyperactive adrenals, I’ve had to retrain my body how to relax. It’s hard to do but I'm getting there. I’ve even been able to start reading again for long periods of time. I have weeks ahead of me to perfect relaxing giving my body the time and space it needs to heal.
After I brush my teeth twice a day I swish around some coconut oil to pull out any extra toxins. Tastes yummy.
At first when I was doing a more gentle detox I was told not to break a sweat as it pulled out metals quickly. Now that I’m trying to get through this as quickly as possible I’m running at least twice a week to get the nasties out. It’s not helping keeping weight on I’m currently 100lbs! (45kg) and struggling to put weight back on, it’s a normal side affect of the toxins leaving my body and taking the fat cells with them. I’m hoping to get back up to a healthier weight in the coming month as my body becomes balanced.
I do this every morning before the sauna to help keep my lymphatic system moving and move the toxins along. It takes time but it’s super relaxing.
I know - yuck! But it’s honestly not that bad and helps a ton with the detox symptoms.
Caster Oil Packs
This helps pull the toxins from my liver and help me sleep more soundly after really bad days.
So there you have it, my complete detox plan. I will be adding more to this as time goes on with things like massage therapy, trip to the chiroprator and a possible health detox two-day intensive retreat to fully get the metal out for good. Please if you have any specific questions don’t hesitate to reach out. I do want to mention if you got here because you’re journeying on a copper toxicity path please know there’s hope. I’ve been working on my healing for over 3 months now and I can’t express enough to you how much hope you have to heal. Where I am mentally now compared to a month ago is incredible. While I still have bad days where I’m sad and lonely they are becoming few and far between as my natural energy and strength is returning. You have hope! I have hope.
I'll leave you with this message from this beautiful soul
PS Here's another great article (long though!) I came across about copper toxicity HERE
Okay before I put out there all the things I am doing to heal, I have to tell you guys some great news, I’m healing. And not like the flashes of good feelings, I know it will someday get better healing but full-fledged results, in two months. I know there’s still a lot of healing to be done but guys, it’s working!
When I first arrived in NY I was a bit of an emotional mess. I cried on my uncle's shoulder one evening scared out of my mind I had made the wrong choices coming back to the states but mostly scared I would never heal, and I was just wasting my time. I was in a copper dump. I’ve come to realize through my research and finally tuning into my body copper dumps can be triggered by stress, emotional stress just as much through detox. On one side this is great, the more dumping the quicker it’s out of my body. On the other side, for stability’s sake, this is why I had such a tough month that led to me making the decision to come to the US. My emotional state around my relationship and the new supplement program had me dumping copper like crazy - nonstop which I didn’t realize (couldn’t realize!) at the time. I have to say those four weeks were some of the worst weeks of my entire life. Mentally I went to some of the darkest places I’ve ever been, physically I was convinced at some points I may die, if I could have made the choice to shrivel up and die I would have. This is copper - this is what it can and will do to people - this is why more people need to learn about this illness and how absolutely debilitating not only it but the healing process can actually be.
Flash forward three short weeks from that dark time, yes, only three weeks! And I am in a completely different place, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. That difficult month led to its reward, lower overall copper levels. I dumped so much, so quick the physical effects on my body have been amazing.
My adrenals are officially down, and my thyroid/blood sugar is balanced. Now when I first learned about copper toxicity I thought it was the copper creating all my symptoms, in some ways, it was because it was the free-floating nasty stuff the damages organs and nerves all over your body. But the actual symptoms I struggled with like inflammation, IBS, mood swings, fatigue, rashes around my eyes, hives when I ran, PMS, anxiety/stress and overall mood of “asshole” were caused by my overactive adrenals and thyroid in response to the metal not the metal itself if that makes sense?
With these two parts of my body now balanced all of these symptoms are GONE! My skin is beautiful, not a single reaction around my eyes anymore and no hives even when I run a distance. No more stomach pain EVER! I can’t remember the last time I had a tummy ache actually haha when I use to wake every single morning in pain, No more inflammation or swelling in my hands and body, and my mood while it’s still affected when I dump copper overall because my blood sugar is balanced is just “chill”, I use to be so irritable and I find myself in situations now when I normally would snap or be grumpy (particularly with my daughter and family members) and I’m just - not - bothered anymore. The more calm intake of information from around me has made it possible for me to express my needs or concerns over particular situations, be heard and respected and not damage the relationships in the process. Without knee-jerk panic people actually like me haha. I’ve been spending time with family I haven’t seen for 15 years who are very different to me so there have been many opportunities for my old reactions to come into play but it’s like I’m a different person. That anxiety just isn’t there to the point I’m pretty slow now dealing with some interactions because it’s all so new to me not automatically feeling like I have a response to everything and actually having to take moments to think. My mind has slowed down that’s for sure and it feels so different.
I’ve always been on edge, loud things and sudden movements always startled me. I would scream and jump at a moment’s notice because I had so must stress hormone in my body. A few days ago someone dropped something really loudly behind the couch I was sitting on when I was deeply into a book and I had absolutely NO response. I surprised myself by not being surprised and yelping haha. I’m no longer in fight or flight every single moment and it’s a whole new world because of that.
My eyes are brighter and they are going more blue (less copper/yellow/green) as my levels come down. I have energy like I haven’t had in years! This isn’t consistent yet, there’s good days and bad days where my liver is still in overdrive and my body needs rest but some days I am able to tap into a vitality and life force like I haven’t had for years - I feel like I could hike the worlds highest mountain!
The most exciting thing and the clearest sign of the physical changes though happened last night, I’m so excited about this haha. I have for years had debilitating motion sickness to the point I couldn’t even look at my phone for more than a min in a car or bus without getting sick. It was awful when I worked in the music industry touring because I could not answer emails or anything on long drives. Now there’s a lot of theories out there about motion/sea sickness and when we hired the skipper to bring our boat down after we bought it he mentioned the cause of most motion sickness is too much adrenaline in the system. This made so much sense to me when I found out about my overactive adrenals. Well, last night on a particularly long drive the most amazing thing happened to me. I was able to read in the car for the first time and not get sick. I am happy to report I read small text on my phones kindle app for over an hour drive and it had no effect on me physically. Not only that I’ve also just realized writing this my daughter since starting her detox meds too has not complained of getting car sick once since getting to the US, and we are in the car every single day. This is life changing stuff guys all within three months.
I know I keep saying this over and over but the more I heal the more I realise how sick I actually was and access forgiveness for myself and my life unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. I can’t imagine 6 months or a year from now how it will feel when all my deficiencies are corrected. I feel like I’m growing into a completely new person, but at the same time reconnecting with someone within myself I didn’t know was there.
If you’re struggling with a copper imbalance or other mineral rebalancing issues please know there’s hope - three weeks ago I was sobbing because I didn’t know if it was possible but that was all part of the process, it gets worse before it gets better, I’m proof of that and will continue to be proof of that through future copper dumps but keep your eye on the prise and soon enough you’ll start to see symptoms just falling away like that are for me. Keep hope - there’s hope.
So many words I’ve imagined dumping onto these pages in the recent days. As my mind comes back to me my creativity and inspiration starts to flow. I love written words so much. I’ve been writing non-stop in my journal and reading everything I can get my hands on. It’s like rediscovering a lost lover. I've started taking photos again like I use to. All my old passions are being sparked again from a real place of love.
We’ve been in upstate NY for almost two weeks now but it feels like a year. The only way I can describe this trip is a pilgrimage. I came because I needed help. I needed to learn how to ask for help and believe when in my time of need I will be provided for, I’ve been provided for and more. The universe is good.
This journey has led me to incredible support and connection. It has healed past wounds, past relationships and is helping direct me back to my soul and my true self. While I don’t understand fully why I got sick (do we have the capacity to ever really accept struggle and pain fully in the human form?) but my soul is thankful for this path. Years of weight and pain have been lifted. I’ve been given the tools fully in my meditation, energy, and yoga practices to not only heal this dark force that came in the form of copper but -release - release so much and start to fill it with light and deserving people.
I always knew who I was, from a young age. When I was a child I was very connected to my purpose and my light on this planet. My soul was strong and my connection was tight with the world around me and nature. As the years wore on as it does for most of us, that became muddled I became sicker and sicker both in the body and the soul. Challenges, the size mountains were placed in the way of me because as I’m learning now, I’m capable and was given these challenges to heal not only myself but the people and world around me too. I was given the gift of sharing, the written word and spreading knowledge. I’m blessed with this. It’s come out in many forms over the years in my activism, my blogging, my YouTube work but I realize now my purpose isn’t to force change but to be the change I already am through illness and joy to inspire others. I’ve connected with over 50 amazing inspiring women since heading out on this journey that are also going through similar things. Not a day goes by where I don’t get a thank you message from someone for sharing my journey online, that they have found comfort in my calling. There’s so little online from actual people that have been faced with the soul path of copper toxicity, most is from doctors and men. But to be an actual living being that can connect with others and share the positive message, "you too will be okay" is a blessing. I’m blessed. I’m supported.
Slowly through this my joy is starting to creep back in where there was fear and misunderstanding. As I’m learning, forgiving, releasing, and growing laughter is finding it’s way back to my lips and my heart is starting to glow again. As the metal is losing it’s control over my nervous system my true soul is finding the relief it needs to be able to repair and heal. I have a long road ahead of me, years in fact I think of this journey. It took years for the damage to be done to my body but every single day I’m growing stronger, more confident, and more knowledgeable. I’m getting stable on my feet and in my own minds eye and it feels good, it feels good to finally after so many years - feel good. I am blessed.