So many words I’ve imagined dumping onto these pages in the recent days. As my mind comes back to me my creativity and inspiration starts to flow. I love written words so much. I’ve been writing non-stop in my journal and reading everything I can get my hands on. It’s like rediscovering a lost lover. I've started taking photos again like I use to. All my old passions are being sparked again from a real place of love.
We’ve been in upstate NY for almost two weeks now but it feels like a year. The only way I can describe this trip is a pilgrimage. I came because I needed help. I needed to learn how to ask for help and believe when in my time of need I will be provided for, I’ve been provided for and more. The universe is good.
This journey has led me to incredible support and connection. It has healed past wounds, past relationships and is helping direct me back to my soul and my true self. While I don’t understand fully why I got sick (do we have the capacity to ever really accept struggle and pain fully in the human form?) but my soul is thankful for this path. Years of weight and pain have been lifted. I’ve been given the tools fully in my meditation, energy, and yoga practices to not only heal this dark force that came in the form of copper but -release - release so much and start to fill it with light and deserving people.
I always knew who I was, from a young age. When I was a child I was very connected to my purpose and my light on this planet. My soul was strong and my connection was tight with the world around me and nature. As the years wore on as it does for most of us, that became muddled I became sicker and sicker both in the body and the soul. Challenges, the size mountains were placed in the way of me because as I’m learning now, I’m capable and was given these challenges to heal not only myself but the people and world around me too. I was given the gift of sharing, the written word and spreading knowledge. I’m blessed with this. It’s come out in many forms over the years in my activism, my blogging, my YouTube work but I realize now my purpose isn’t to force change but to be the change I already am through illness and joy to inspire others. I’ve connected with over 50 amazing inspiring women since heading out on this journey that are also going through similar things. Not a day goes by where I don’t get a thank you message from someone for sharing my journey online, that they have found comfort in my calling. There’s so little online from actual people that have been faced with the soul path of copper toxicity, most is from doctors and men. But to be an actual living being that can connect with others and share the positive message, "you too will be okay" is a blessing. I’m blessed. I’m supported.
Slowly through this my joy is starting to creep back in where there was fear and misunderstanding. As I’m learning, forgiving, releasing, and growing laughter is finding it’s way back to my lips and my heart is starting to glow again. As the metal is losing it’s control over my nervous system my true soul is finding the relief it needs to be able to repair and heal. I have a long road ahead of me, years in fact I think of this journey. It took years for the damage to be done to my body but every single day I’m growing stronger, more confident, and more knowledgeable. I’m getting stable on my feet and in my own minds eye and it feels good, it feels good to finally after so many years - feel good. I am blessed.